When You hear "No" Do You Quit - Or Use The Power Of Persistence?

Val Frania:

Hi there. Around here, we talk about more than just painting furniture and getting it sold. We talk about the harder things too, like decision making, confidence, skill building, and why progress sometimes feels slower than it should. If you're here because you want to grow, not just dabble, you're certainly in the right place. I've titled this episode number twenty six, "When you hear, 'No,' Do You Quit Or Do You Use The Power Of Persistence?"

When you hear the word "no," what do you do? Do you assume it's final? Do you take it personally? Do you quietly decide that maybe this just isn't for you? For many people, "no," feels like a closed door. It feels discouraging, doesn't it? Final. Exhausting. And honestly, that reaction does make sense. Most people quit right there. Not because they're lazy or incapable, because "no" feels personal. I used to be that person. Way back when, when I was younger and when I had no experience, oh, I was easily intimidated. I took no for an answer. But some things changed in my life that made me who I am today. So today I want to talk about persistence.

Not hustle, not pressure, not being pushy, but persistence as a learned skill. Something that experience teaches us over time, hopefully, and how learning that skill changes outcomes in furniture flipping, in business, well, in life in general, what persistence actually is, and how it gets misunderstood. People think it means being loud, argumentative, or refusing to listen. But in my experience, real persistence looks very different.

Years of advocating for special needs kids and many years serving in the ministry has taught me something important. You can be kind, respectful, and still not go away. Persistence isn't about raising your voice. It's about staying steady. It's about being informed. It's about remaining present in the conversation longer than most people are willing to do. When you've had to advocate for someone who can't advocate for themselves, quitting simply isn't an option. You learn how to be calm and immovable at the same time. That's not stubbornness, that's responsibility. I had a situation recently that reminded me just how often people stop too soon. I own an expensive kitchen device that was well out of warranty, and it developed a problem. And as I researched it, I realized this wasn't a rare issue. It was a known design weakness. I contacted customer service and was essentially told, sorry, nothing we can do. Well, okay, that's not totally true. Her attitude was, sorry, I'm not going to help you.

She quickly went into rattling off a bunch of fixes I could do on my own, that I had no idea what she was talking about. And you could tell she got impatient with me because I got impatient with her. She was talking too fast, assuming too much, and honestly, I could tell she didn't want to help me. Now, I could have accepted that answer, that she wasn't going to help me. Many people would have because it was really frustrating. I was tempted. But instead of reacting emotionally, I just ended the call. I was done.

I needed to step back and think about it. Think about what my next move was. Later, I shared my experience in their public space. Not to attack, not to shame, but to explain what just happened because it was totally the opposite of what I expected. Eventually that company I shouldn't even say eventually, quicker than I expected, that company reached out and they resolved the situation. What struck me most wasn't the resolution itself, though. It was pretty amazing what they did for me. It was just how close I came to saying, "Well, I tried. I guess I just have to go buy a new one." But I was really expensive And I don't know that I would have. At that moment, that's where most outcomes are decided.

Trying once is not persistence, it's just contact. Most outcomes change not because you push harder, but because you stayed longer. Persistence when it really matters. This isn't something I learned recently. Years ago when we were trying to adopt our son, Daniel. He became stuck in a deeply flawed adoption system in Michigan. We were told, "No," repeatedly. Files stalled, phone calls went unanswered. The system wasn't designed to move quickly, compassionately or fairly. At one point, I told the state adoption director that if something wasn't done for Daniel, if he did not do something to allow him to be adopted and not sit in foster care the rest of his life, that my mom and I would come sit outside his office door until it was taken care of.

It wasn't a threat. I was just resolved to help Daniel get a home because he wasn't getting one. When you're advocating for a child, for a life, you don't have the luxury of quitting. You learn how to document, how to speak calmly, how to escalate appropriately, and how to stay without becoming disrespectful. That experience really did shape me. It taught me that persistence isn't emotional. It's intentional. Daniel ended up moving in and becoming our son, becoming a part of the family because I didn't give up. I wasn't going to give up. He needed a family.

Okay, so how does this apply to furniture flipping? You know, I always come around to this. That's what this podcast is about, becoming successful furniture flippers and actually enjoying it along the way. So bringing this home to furniture flipping, I see the same pattern play out again and again, not just with beginners, but even some more experienced flippers. If you're new to flipping, you are going to encounter resistance. And a lot of it, none of it means you're failing. Example: Lowballing. We all get them. Lowballing is when someone offers you less than half, a ridiculous offer that is offensive. I recently had a buyer reach out about two end tables that I had listed for quite a while. They said they were smaller than average, had glass tops, and I knew from the beginning they'd appeal to a very small buyer pool. But a long time on the market doesn't necessarily mean something isn't valuable. It just means it hasn't met the right buyer yet. I'm a firm believer that getting views on marketplace, getting your piece in front of people, is the key. Honestly, I've seen some super, well, okay, I shouldn't say I've seen some super anything I should say, "In my opinion, I've seen some super ugly and poorly done pieces sell." So if you get it in front of the right buyer, you are going to sell that piece. You just have to find them. This recent buyer I'm going to tell you about came in with a very low offer, which was kind of funny since the end tables were pretty cheap to begin with. It doesn't matter whether it's priced a thousand dollars or fifty dollars, people will lowball. So this is our conversation. Sometimes holding your ground will bring you satisfaction and your selling price. Okay, so here it is. Customer: "Hi. Is this available?" (She messaged me on Facebook.) "Would you take twenty five dollars?" Me: "For one? Yes." Her: "You take thirty for both?" Me: "Forty dollars." Her: "No, thanks. Thirty or keep them." Me: "Okay, I'll keep them." And then a day later... Her: "Hi. Wondering if you if I might can buy one of those end tables for twenty two dollars, please. I can pick up in a little bit." And then just a few minutes later, she messaged, "Can I come get tonight? Around ten p m? I'd like them for both. For forty dollars. The two of them please." Me: "Sure. I'm home now. Can you come earlier?" Her: "I have to be at ten as I'm out of town." Me: "Okay. Cash only, forty dollars, right?" Her: "Yes."

Conversations like that could feel discouraging. Especially when something hasn't sold quickly. But you have to admit, the conversation was a bit amusing. And instead of reacting emotionally, I just stated my price calmly and didn't argue or justify. I use what I call the "internal eye roll" in these types of situations. You know, like when a four year old asks for a pony for Christmas. You smile because you love them and understand that they really don't realize what they're asking for. They just want something and simply ask. Or when an older person who is starting to be a bit foggy in their thinking. Whatever they say, that's a bit outrageous or unkind, you just learn to roll your eyes inside your head. Not so they see it. Understanding that they're just like that four year old. Not completely understanding what they're saying or how they're coming across as demanding or rude, you just let it go. There's no emotion involved, no feeling of being offended, simply understanding of what that person is all about, where they are in their life. During my conversation with that customer, I just rolled my eyes. I was so amused at how the conversation was going and plainly, calmly, I talked it through with her. Since I was willing to lose the sale, I had no plans to give in. There was no panicking that might go sideways just a calm reserve, knowing that the price I was asking was a really great deal. But even if it wasn't, if I decide I want a price for something. You know, occasionally I will negotiate. I typically price my stuff ten to twenty percent above what I'm willing to take. Sometimes even outrageously more just to see if I can get it. But when you negotiate calmly and there's no fear involved, trust me, you're going to handle it a whole lot better.

Emotions shouldn't be involved in transactions like this. And in the end, she paid my asking price. She purchased both pieces. The pickup was brief and very businesslike. No conversation, just a transaction - that was perfectly fine. I really like to get to know my buyers and we oh, so often we end up just chatting for a half hour, up to an hour sometimes because I like people, I like making new friends. But boy oh boy, this one was short. No conversation with this one, But persistence doesn't mean arguing.

Sometimes it just means not moving and it turned out just fine. So there's other situations that we tend to quit or want to quit or feel like we should quit. How about product failures? Paint sometimes fails. Top coats sometimes fail. Finishes go wrong. Every experience flipper I know has been there. That's not incompetence, it's just a knowledge gap. You don't quit because a product fails. You just adjust because you're learning. Stuff happens. Like with techniques and methods that you're trying out, or even some that you've done for a while. What you see online isn't talent, it's repetition. Skill comes after repetition, not before confidence. Sometimes techniques and methods just take a bit to accomplish. It's not incompetence on your part, but do push through. Keep at it till you nail it. What about when you're on Facebook? I call that the Facebook group whiplash. You can ask one question. Get one hundred and eleven different answers. More advice doesn't always bring you clarity. Often clarity comes from choosing one method and sticking with it long enough to evaluate it. But one caveat here be careful, because some of those one hundred and eleven answers might be wrong. So to me, I would rather talk with someone in authority, somebody that's been there, somebody that has been experienced in furniture flipping. I'd rather talk with them than talk with a group of fifteen thousand and get all those different answers, because you just don't know if what they're saying is through their experience or their guessing or just trying to be encouraging by offering a solution. So be very, very careful. I prefer to grow in miles rather than by inches. And when you get your advice from Facebook, you're only going to grow by an inch.

Okay, how about Facebook or Instagram or whoever's algorithms and tech. As you know, algorithms change. Oh, I remember those days. Yes. Just write a post. That's what's going to fly. And then they said, oh, you need to put a picture with it. That will help the algorithm pass your post along. Oh, then it was do a video. Then it was do reels, then stories. And it just change after change after change. Views will fluctuate. Platforms will glitch. Sometimes nothing's wrong. You're just in the middle of a process. Experience teaches you the difference between a dead end and a detour. Now, any time of the year when you get on Facebook or somewhere else in some sort of chat and you say, my stuff isn't selling and you're always going to get somebody say, well, this time of year nothing sells.

But the thing is, that happens all through the year. So is it the time of year? That's something you're going to learn through experience and learning to market - experience makes a difference. So do not stress. Don't be down on yourself if things aren't going perfectly. Sometimes it just takes time. When you are in the roadblock though, and sometimes it's you. Persistence isn't about other people or systems. Sometimes we are our own roadblock. Recently, I redesigned a dresser into a cat perch to sit next to my desk. I had a clear plan in my head. Layering paint and shades of green and peach. I had seen something online that inspired me. I spent about an hour trying to make it work, telling myself, just keep going. It'll come together. It didn't. Finally, I stopped and admitted that my original plan no longer matched my vision. I backed up, rethought it, and then did something completely different. Something that was much more me. And I love how it turned out. Every time I see it and watch my cats, Max and Mia, enjoying their little condo, I'm reminded there's a difference between quitting and course correcting. Persistence without reflection can turn into resistance. Let me say that again.

Persistence without reflection can turn into resistance. We need to determine to make our decisions with wisdom. Okay, we're choosing wisely, not harder. So this ties into another lesson that we learned over time. When we first started flipping, we bought a lot of pieces that needed extensive repair. Some of that was good. I learned a lot, but eventually I realized I didn't enjoy fighting every piece. I wanted faster turnarounds, I wanted sustainability, I wanted to actually enjoy the process. And now that DH is working alongside me and doing much of the prep, we've taken that quite a bit further. Letting go of pieces we'd held on to. Donating some, selling others, as is, salvaging some of the parts and then discarding the rest. That's not quitting. That's not failure. That's wise decision making. Too often beginners believe struggle equals progress. You see that online. People post these pieces that need so much repair or so much intervention that they're so frustrated and ends up costing them a lot of time and money. But choosing manageable pieces builds confidence, momentum, longevity. Who cares if we look like we know everything when we post something online? It's not the hard stuff we're doing that makes us look good. It's the actual end product, right? So if you care about what people think of you online, don't put yourself through so much work that you get no return on your investment. And persistent doesn't mean forcing every piece to work. It means making wise decisions so you can keep going. And honestly, this is exactly why I'm working on a beginner training right now.

I've watched these struggles play out online again and again, especially for beginners trying to navigate the learning curve. I'm working on a solution to make the process clearer, steadier, less overwhelming. It's not about shortcuts. It's about having a path so you don't quit before you even get your footing. It's about moving forward by miles, not inches. Persistence is easier when you're not trying to learn everything the hard way. So if you've wanted to quit lately, that doesn't mean you're weak. It usually means you're standing right in front of the part that actually teaches you something when you hear, "No," whether it's in your head, on the phone, or in a store where you're trying to buy something. Or online, when you're asking questions, don't rush to decide what it means. Sometimes, "No," isn't rejection. Sometimes it's the beginning of the real process. It's going to force you into figuring it out. Finding new ways. Maybe even changing your path. Experience teaches you when to walk away and when not to. And persistence. That's not something you're born with. It's something you learn. You learn it through practicing it. If you're still learning and finding your footing, you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Growth doesn't come from rushing. It comes from understanding. Thanks for inviting me into your day. I'm glad you're here. Blessings. And now go pick up that paintbrush and make something beautiful today.