When the People Closest to You Don't Understand Your Creative Calling

Val Frania

Hi, Val Frania here again with episode eleven of the Flipping Furniture for Profit podcast. I'm glad you're here with me, and thanks for all your comments that you've been giving me lately. I want to talk a little bit about when family and friends don't get it.

Finding support as a furniture flipper, and how to keep going when people closest to you don't understand your calling. Yes, I see this as a calling it's something that we can do for the world around us. You know, I read something this week from one of my mentors that really got me. He said when you start creating something new, your family and friends probably won't get it.

I thought, yeah, he's right because I see this so often with furniture flippers. We're so excited to show people what we're doing our friends, our family, coworkers, and then no response. Or sometimes worse, a confused look or a quick, "Oh that's nice honey." You start wondering, do they even believe in what I'm doing? Especially family. The ones who are closest to you expect them to be interested, right? So you wonder, do they think this is just some silly hobby? If that sounds familiar, then this episode is for you. Family and friends' support is so important to us and when they don't get it, it can be really discouraging.

This is what that mentor said in his email and I'll never forget it: Your friends and family are not your target audience. They're not your ideal buyers or your creative peers. They don't spend their time studying brush strokes and topcoats or even Facebook Marketplace analytics. They don't see what you see when you look at a scratched, wobbly old dresser and think, oh, that's going to be stunning. Even my own husband, I call him "DH," Mark. He doesn't have that ability to take a look at something, whether it's a house as we're driving by or a piece of furniture, he doesn't have that eye that can immediately transform it in his own mind to see what it could look like. And honestly, those that are not creatives, a lot of them don't have that ability. He's always telling me, "Okay, I'll take your word for it." When I describe something that I think it could look like or or what changes I think there should be.

So realize that most of the time your family and friends, when they don't seem interested, they're not trying to discourage you. They just don't understand our world. And sometimes, honestly, our passion might even make them uncomfortable. When you're doing something brave, something they wouldn't do, you're putting yourself out there. And that can stir up a little bit of fear in other people. So they shrug, or they joke, or they quietly don't show up for you because they don't know what to say.

They don't know how to communicate with a creative if they're not a creative at heart. So they just put it off because it's not their thing and it's okay. Really. So let's be real. Sometimes you feel disappointed in your friends and family. You might even hurt and make you feel like they don't care about you. You pour your heart into a piece. You sand you, paint. You stage it beautifully. You list it online and nobody seems to notice. You want people to say, "Wow, you are amazing!" because you are. But instead you get silence. They don't even bother saying anything because they don't know what to say. When they come over to visit, they don't ask if they can see your latest piece.

They don't put a heart emoji on your Facebook post showing one of your pieces. One time I asked someone close to me, or at least I thought she was close to me, to repost some of my Facebook posts. She told me "No, that would clutter up my Facebook feed and my personal profile." This person was supposed to be a support. She's supposed to be the one cheering me on. I never asked her to do anything again for me, not out of spite or anger or even disappointment. I just saw it for what it was worth. Everyone has their own thing, their own agenda.

I knew my stuff was worthy of sharing. Not, you know, not lack of confidence on my part. Her response was just a reflection of someone who isn't out to encourage others. It was no reflection on me. So you've got your two situations here with family and friends. One, they don't really get what you're doing and it's not their thing, or the other, that just really doesn't care to support you. Those are two different kinds of people, but really just shake either one off because it does not, it doesn't speak to who you are. It speaks to who they are. So here's what I want you to remember. Their silence doesn't define your worth. Just because they don't get it doesn't mean you're not doing something incredible.

You're building something they can't see yet. It's hard for them to grasp, so they brush it off. So here's why community matters so much. You need people who understand the ups and downs of this journey I do. I don't know of anyone that doesn't. Someone who gets how thrilling it is when a piece sells, and how frustrating it feels when nothing moves for weeks. You need people who won't roll their eyes or tune you out. When you say you found the perfect hardware at lawless online, or that you spent three hours choosing a stain color.

That's what I love most about our Blueprint furniture flipping community. We get each other, we celebrate wins big and small. We share tips, cheer one another on. And yes, sometimes we just say, girl, I've been there. That kind of support changes everything. We even share things not furniture flipping. Like Lisa and I have podcasting conversations. Christine and Lucretia and I talk about how much we love our animals. I'm even going to have a canning lesson during one of her annual meetups.

We have a lot in common because we spend time together. We find out about each other and we have a support group. I could go on about the things that we share, but you get the picture. It's not just about day to day support about furniture flipping. It's about forming real bonds. Not like the Facebook groups that are superficial and not always supportive or even accurate in their advice. It's about expanding your circle. Adding in people who get you.

So here is the truth I've come to believe. Sometimes God will plant a dream in your heart that isn't meant for everyone else to see. He gives you the vision, not them. He asks you to step out in faith, not them. So don't wait for everyone around you to understand. Just keep walking. Keep creating. Keep flipping forward because the right people, the ones who need your art, your encouragement, your creativity, they'll find you.

So if you're feeling unseen or unsupported, take a deep breath and remind yourself you are not alone. You're part of a beautiful community of artists and dreamers who know exactly how you feel, and we're cheering you on. Now go grab that brush, that sander, that piece that's been calling your name and flip it for YOU because what you're doing matters. And lastly, find yourself a real flipper support group.

It doesn't have to be mine. Just find a group that you fit into and they fit into your life. People that can cheer you on and you can share things with that get it. And just a quick reminder to those of you wanting to start to grow your furniture flipping skills and find support as you move forward, there's still time to catch my three part series.

Go to ValFrania.com/flipforward. It will encourage you and that's why I'm here. So have a beautiful day and we'll talk soon.